An afternoon walk in the woods
I saw patriarchal masculinity’s effect on a walk just north of Kirkwood Avenue in Iowa City.
A woman passed by me in the woods, kept her head down, and got out of my presence as fast as she could. Had I been small child, a woman, a puppy, the mood would have been drastically different. Less hurry in the steps, less hiding in her hoodie, less eye-contact avoidance. As it is, I am male, and I am (perceived as) dangerous. She behaved as though she knew the code, which “identifies male difference as being always and only about the superior rights of males to dominate . . . by any means necessary” (hooks 114). In that moment I saw a little more clearly how unfortunate it is that a human should feel afraid of another human on a walk near a creek in the woods in arguably the most beautiful season of the year.
Fuck patriarchal masculinity.
I want to stay here in the woods on my walk for a little while longer. My experience was pleasant. I felt no fear at any moment. My route included going up Friendly, crossing Kirkwood, and taking the walking path under the train tracks where graffiti embellished the walk with its urban flare. It was a blustery afternoon, the first of the fall, as if Nature had awakened from a summer nap to realize it had to get on with the show, dropping the temperature nearly 40 degrees and giving notice that winter will be coming on time after all. I was engrossed in my own thoughts while also relishing the fact that my newfound wanderlust practice could take place in my work day. A 30 minute walk is entirely doable. And I was wearing a bright red scarf, which always feels festive.
Meeting someone on a walk for me is always welcome, but I also don’t feel afraid of other humans. Not in our culture. Not in Iowa City. I could, for sure, on a dark alley in an unknown city facing a group of unknown people, but I’m just under six feet tall, weigh nearly 200 pounds, and am athletic. In most situations, I can take care of myself, run away fast enough, or—if need be—defend myself.
What patriarchal masculinity has promised to my demographic like me is power. I can make people fear me. Never mind that I was raised pacifist, have never been in a physical fight in my life ever, and want people to feel safe in my presence. People outside of my demographic who do not know me will likely fear me when they meet me alone on a path in the woods.
I’m sitting with that injustice this afternoon.
